So new news in the world of random crazies a man named Harold Camping has announced that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011. He’s a former engineer and head of a small Christian movement with his own radio show, who states that various numbers in the bible have shown him the end of the world is coming saturday, at 6pm local time for each time zone.
What you may not know, however. Is that this is the second shot for the end of the world. In 1992 he predicted the end of the world in 1994. I don’t know if this is a new formula, or maybe he forgot to carry the one the last time and didn’t realize it until surprise! he woke up in 1995. I have to wonder what he will do if he wakes up Sunday too. Will he come up with another date? Or perhaps move onto something a little less insane, like a weather machine, or talking to squirrels.
Now in the event that there is an end of the world but slower moving, you can insure you will always be prepared with a new product called the Tactical Sammich. I was drawn to this for two reasons. One, I have an odd fascination with pre-packaged meals. And two, I like the word sammich.
These sammiches, come packaged in its own vaccum packed bag. With a shelf life of over 2 years, and comes in two flavors: pepperoni, and honey BBQ. My thought is if the world is ending and you have nothing left around you, perhaps its no the time to think about low-fat. If I’ve got a set number of meals left I’m going for biggest punch. And perhaps some bourbon.
But however you see it, coming soon you’ll either all be gone as the world ends, or hunkered down in your bunker eating tactical sammiches while you cradle your AR-15.
Or, you know, going back to work on Monday. In which case you’ll be cradling your coffee cup with one bloodshot eye open.
