Tactical Sammiches and other Unfortunate Signs of the Apocalypse

So new news in the world of random crazies a man named Harold Camping has announced that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011. He’s a former engineer and head of a small Christian movement with his own radio show, who states that various numbers in the bible have shown him the end of the world is coming saturday, at 6pm local time for each time zone.

What you may not know, however. Is that this is the second shot for the end of the world. In 1992 he predicted the end of the world in 1994. I don’t know if this is a new formula, or maybe he forgot to carry the one the last time and didn’t realize it until surprise! he woke up in 1995. I have to wonder what he will do if he wakes up Sunday too. Will he come up with another date? Or perhaps move onto something a little less insane, like a weather machine, or talking to squirrels.

Now in the event that there is an end of the world but slower moving, you can insure you will always be prepared with a new product called the Tactical Sammich. I was drawn to this for two reasons. One, I have an odd fascination with pre-packaged meals. And two, I like the word sammich.

These sammiches, come packaged in its own vaccum packed bag. With a shelf life of over 2 years, and comes in two flavors: pepperoni, and honey BBQ.  My thought is if the world is ending and you have nothing left around you, perhaps its no the time to think about low-fat. If I’ve got a set number of meals left I’m going for biggest punch. And perhaps some bourbon.

But however you see it, coming soon you’ll either all be gone as the world ends, or hunkered down in your bunker eating tactical sammiches while you cradle your AR-15.

Or, you know, going back to work on Monday. In which case you’ll be cradling your coffee cup with one bloodshot eye open.

Go the F**K to Sleep

I knew that would get you to read this.

However, that wasn’t just a catchy title, but also the title of a book that went to the top of Amazon’s bestseller list almost a month before it even hit the shelves! One has to ask themselves what could have caused a book to be a bestseller before it’s even read. It turns out that sometimes what you think is the worst thing for you, turns out to be the best.

‘Go the Fuck to Sleep: A Storybook for exhausted parents’ was written by Adam Mansbach, a comedic author who said his daughter took hours to fall asleep and came up with this story one sleep night. It’s the perfect gift for any new parent and I’m told this book completely fits the way the things you would think after a sleepless night trying to get a kid to sleep. The excerpt I found was the following, it made me put in my order already.

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep.

The book was originally scheduled to be released in October, but with all the buzz it has been pushed to next month. In the last month a pdf file of the book was being circulated on the internet which quickly went viral. The book has a great hook, is short, and being a file its easy to forward to others. This has led to a wildfire of publicity of the book which placed it on the bestseller list. I would imagine the publisher isn’t sure how to handle this. On the one hand they as an industry view piracy as bad. But on the other hand, you can’t buy this publicity for any amount of money, and certainly not from an independent publisher.

I’m not sure my opinion on this. I always have been a fan that information is for the world, and most of the time in my opinion if you have a quality product then piracy would actually help you. I haven’t yet found one of the pdf copies, but if I did, I think I would still be buying the book. In fact I have 4 on pre-order from Amazon. If nothing else this serves is proof that sometimes what you think is your worst enemy, can sometimes be your greatest ally.

And that’s just good advice for life in general.

Tell Me Your Story

I was reading an article about storytelling in business the other day and it made me think. In life, the most effective method to get something across is storytelling. It’s how we teach lessons to children, it’s how we tell jokes, but as we get older and talk to other adults, many of us lose that instinct.

Your life is a story. Where you came from, where you are, where you’re going, all just parts of a grand story. We walk through the world each day not realizing the amazing experience that is life. People think it sets you apart, but really its what binds us together.

It’s also a great way to learn about someone. When someone tells you their story you learn not only where they came from but how they think and why they are who they are. You’ll hear more than you will ever want to know, as long as you’re smart enough to keep your mouth shut.

So the next time you are talking to someone, even if it’s someone you have known for a long time, ask them, “What’s your story?”

The answer may surprise you.

Salute to the hardest working people in the world.

By this I, of course, mean all the mothers out there.  It’s a job so difficult and so important that it has its own day to celebrate them.  You’ve got President’s Day(I guess one could say they’ve got a difficult job but nothing compared to moms), Christmas(I think everyone can say he had a hard run too), and Mother’s Day.  And in my opinion they’ve got the hardest job around.

My mom has been there for me my entire life and has taught me a lot of the things I know, not to mention putting up with things that Kim and me both got into.  She put up with me turning my hands dark blue for days with a chemistry set, blowing up the toaster, when Kim and I were horseplaying and got a big hole in the wall…actually I think that one happened a few times.  She helped me when I was sick all my life and took care of me, even when I was stuck at home and couldn’t do much while I recovered from surgery and when I had the ocular funk she would come down all the time to check on me and bring me things because I wasn’t able to go outside.  That’s just a short amount of the things that she helped me with, if I were to go through the entire list I’d be writing for weeks.

I’ll never be able to repay her for all the things that she’s done for me, the most I can do is hope to one day have as much of an impact on my future children as she has had on me.

So for all of you make sure to hug your mom today, they do more for you than you’d ever imagine.

And Mom….thanks, I don’t know where I would be without you.

 

Wordless Wednesday: Magical Night, or Empty Road?

Daytime at Nighttime, originally uploaded by frankpierson.

 

If it was Hard to Write, It Should be Hard to Read.

Unless you’ve been living under a deep rock while squeezing your head the last few weeks you’ll realize that christmas time is upon us. And, as this is a religious holiday, with this comes all the dogma and specials on tv. It’s common knowledge that I hate christmas but even then I’m not anti-christmas. Nothing irritates me more than companies and people who say ‘happy holidays’ instead of ‘merry christmas’ so as to not offend. I’m an atheist who usually wears a santa hat on christmas eve and the day itself; if I can get into it then no one else has an excuse. But I digress.

I was reading an article written by british comic Ricky Gervais yesterday about why he became an atheist. I liked the way it was written, not only because I agree with him, but because I am interested as to why people come to believe what they do. I later saw that Conan O’Brian had posted a link to it in his Twitter account (see I mentioned Twitter…that’s right I’m modern) and caught quite a bit of flak for it. But I have to wonder how many people actually took the time to read the entire article and think about it before writing back.

Earlier I mentioned that I’m also an atheist, albeit I see myself as a scientist and a reasonable person willing to change my viewpoints were I to get proof to the contrary. When others have learned this I have had everything happen from being looked at with pity like I’m a lost puppy, to anger like I’m the devil, to disdain like I’m beneath them, and once in a while an interesting look and someone will whisper, “so am I.” I also can’t count the number of conversations I have had from people trying to convert me, and, as surprising as it sounds, I don’t mind them. I think that if you believe in something that strongly, then you have a responsibility to try to change my mind.

I love debate and welcome anyone who wants to have an intelligent argument about anything from religion, to the weather, to politics, to the weather affecting politics, and even on what terrible thing I would rather do if I had to. Talking about religion is fun, and high intensity, because no matter who you are talking to they strongly believe in it. The problem is, as people are attached to it, they can get hostile when you question them even though I’m not directly saying that they’re wrong (ok…in a way maybe I am but I’m willing to accept I could also be wrong.) I’ve talked with some that it has strengthened their belief; I’ve talked with some that it was weakened their belief; But no matter the end result, they are more confident and more aware in their own knowledge of the subject, and I think that is far more valuable than faith any day. This being said, I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve had that ended in the other person shouting, “Well you’re just going to hell!”

This suggests to me they are someone who has never truly examined their beliefs. These are the people who irritate me more than anything. A life unexamined is a life unlived. If you feel the way you feel about anything for no other reason than that is the way you were raised, or that is what was around you, then in short I hate you. I dislike sheep, if you are to truly feel the way you do you must think for yourself about why. I think this is what makes the converted such strong believers, the truth, as you see it, is all the more powerful if you make the discovery yourself than if it is told to you.

One of the best conversations I ever had was with my sister Wendy, we were at dinner and had a long conversation about it, with no hostility, and it made me respect her even more than I already do. She makes good arguments, they are well thought out and researched, and I can directly ask something without being shut out. At the end of our conversation that day I could tell she wasn’t done and I mentioned that I supposed we were going to have more of these talks, to which she replied yes. The only thing I could say was “good. That’s how it’s supposed to work.” I look forward to our next talk and what it brings. However, I don’t think we’ll be able to move each other off of our talking points.

But hey…I’ve been wrong before.

And because I like to hear from those who read my blog I’d like to know this: What things in life have you strengthened your belief of, or changed your position on, after a good talk with someone?

Also, if you’d like to read the article by Ricky Gervais, and I suggest that you do, follow the link below.

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/12/19/a-holiday-message-from-ricky-gervais-why-im-an-atheist/

730 Days

It’s been 2 years today that Kim died; I’m not sure how to feel about this. Today I came to work, hoping that I can keep my mind busy but it keeps wandering back to that day. I tell everyone I’m well adjusted and in some ways I am right, but in some ways I’m also very wrong. In truth there are days when I don’t think about it at all, and there are days when I can’t get a thought past the grief. The dichotomy is enough to drive a person insane.

Those who knew Kim would know this would make perfect sense to her; she was the embodiment of a split person. She was the hermit who loved to be around others, the one who hated most people but loved nothing more than to take care of them, capable of pushing at someone’s biggest weakness and yet would cry if you cut her deep, and one of the most responsible people I knew who could also have bouts of amazing irresponsibility. The biggest pain my ass and one of the first people I would turn to if I needed help. She truly was my sister and my friend.

She died on vacation the day she got engaged. I tell myself that she had been getting sicker recently before and this way at least she’s not hurting and sick anymore, but I can’t help but rage about it being so short and there was so much life ahead of her.

But self-pity gets you nowhere. I’ve told myself that to sit and dwell on it will leave me sitting at home drinking and doing nothing. So I am going to remember Kim the best way I know how, by living.  I took the lesson from her that life is short and you don’t know what can happen tomorrow so you should live for today. Don’t wait for the right time to do something, because if you do you’ll end up with your last thoughts being I should have. I would ask the rest of you to do the same. Many will remember this day with sadness, but use it to be the drive to live your life.

The other thing I would ask is to be aware of Deep Vein Thrombosis. Kim was struck down by this terrible disease that strikes 2 million people a year kills almost 200,000 of them; yet very few people know anything about it. Learn about it, learn how to prevent it, and then educate your family and friends so that hopefully none of you will have to go through this terrible ordeal.

Here are some links for information on Deep Vein Thrombosis. Please share it with everyone you know.

The Coalition to Prevent DVT

http://www.preventdvt.org/

Mayo Clinic information site for Pulmonary Embolism

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pulmonary-embolism/DS00429

And always, hug your loved ones, because you never know when will be the last time you’ll see them.

Test post from todd

Test post from todds iPhone.

Failing Forward

We’ve all had this conversation in our life.  The ‘if I had it to do over again’ one.  Those of us in EMS seem to have this conversation a lot, partially because its an unintended field.  What I mean by that is if you were to ask those people who you know in the EMS field very few of them will have truly planned to be an emt or paramedic.  But I digress…

Virginia and I were having this discussion and I had mentioned going to medical school, which triggered that one.  If I had buckled down beforehand I would have got everything done and would probably be entering med school this fall…but as they say, life is what happens when your busy making other plans.

So I was thinking back farther than that to when I first started college.  My first plan was to go into psychology, eventually winding up with a PhD or PsyD in forensic psychology. I’d wanted to work for the FBI…a little cliché I know but still its where I felt I’d have been able to do something memorable. 

So I had all these lofty aspirations for myself.  Then had a series of downward spiral semesters, and ended up transferring back to Marshall and getting into an emt class and then paramedic school.  A pretty far cry from either medical school or forensic psychology.

But the more I thought about it I had to ask myself, were my failures really failures?  If I hadn’t left Marshall then I wouldn’t have met my brothers in my fraternity who helped bring me out of my shell and deal with people, I wouldn’t have moved to Huntington, or gotten into ems, or met the friends I have from the emergency services who served to further bring me out of my shell and turned me into what I am today…though the jury is still out on what that is haha.

In my 27 years I’ve been party to many different experiences and life lessons; how many of these would I still have had if I hadn’t failed in the past.  I may have been doing my dream job so to speak, but what about the rest of my life.  I don’t think I would have been as nearly an interesting person or had as many good stories to tell.

Do you think that your life would be any better than it is now if you hadn’t failed earlier in life?

Texting 911 and Mystery Graves

So a 911 center in the basement of a jail in Iowa is on the cutting edge ahead of everyone else.  I read this and two things come to mind:

1. Way to go Iowa!

and 2. What the fuck rest of America.

This is a good system because a number of teens and kids nowadays already think they can text 911 if they need help now they really will be able to. The downside is right now only T-mobile customers in the geographic area of that center will be able to use it.  And unfortunately there’s another step in this, because, unlike when you call, the 911 center can not get your general location so they send you a text asking for your city or zip code. But once this is all done the dispatcher can also send texts back to you for a conversation.

I think is a good idea but it needs some work with it, hopefully with time they’ll get location information and the like built into it somehow.  In the meantime its better than nothing…but seriously…Iowa first?

And on to the other thing that caught my eye today.

Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on with this gravestone?  It’s from Walla Walla, Washington which, on a side note, no matter what this could have been I probably would have written about it because I like saying Walla Walla, Washington.

I also like saying Lake Titicaca…but thats a different blog for a different day.

I looked on findagrave.com and it has dates of death but since they weren’t originally on there that means he had to have designed this one.  There’s additional pictures here there are more etchings on the top and the back side as well.

Anyone have any ideas?

By the way you can see the other pictures here